Simple Times: Crafts for Poor People
By Amy Sedaris
Written by Amy Sedaris and Paul Dinello
More than 8 out of 10 households have at least 4 out of 5 family members engaging in at least 2 out of 3 crafts 87% of the time. A staggering 98% of this group are homosexual men. -Simple Times
America’s most delightfully unconventional hostess and the bestselling author of I Like You delivers a new book that will forever change the world of crafting. According to Amy Sedaris, it’s often been said that ugly people craft and attractive people have sex. In her new book, SIMPLE TIMES, she sets the record straight. Demonstrating that crafting is one of life’s more pleasurable and constructive leisure activities, Sedaris shows that anyone with a couple of hours to kill and access to pipe cleaners can join the elite society of crafters.
You will discover how to make popular crafts, such as: crab-claw roach clips, tinfoil balls, andÂ crepe-paper moccasins, and learn how to: get inspired (Spend time at a Renaissance Fair; Buy fruit, let it get old, and see what shapes it turns into); remember which kind of glue to use with which material (Tacky with Furry, Gummy with Gritty, Paste with Prickly, and always Gloppy with Sandy); create your own craft room and avoid the most common crafting accidents (sawdust fires, feather asphyxia, pine cone lodged in throat); and cook your own edible crafts, from a Crafty Candle Salad to Sugar Skulls, and many more recipes.
PLUS whole chapters full of more crafting ideas (Pompom Ringworms! Seashell Toilet Seat Covers!) that will inspire you to create your own hastily constructed obscure d’arts; and much, much more!
How Are We Using Our Crafts?
1. Camper decorations
2. Old people presents
3. Chew toy
4. Dust accumulator
5. As evidence that we don’t spend all our time doing absolutely noting
6. Salvaged for parts to make other crafts